my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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