just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
