You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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