we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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