Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize