I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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