Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
