you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
