She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
