Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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