is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
