bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
