You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
