I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Randomize