yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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