you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
