wrigley field is MILF paradise
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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