Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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