I feel great
I just peed on a car
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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