so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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