Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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