The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Randomize
