i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
