speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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