i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
