4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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