addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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