so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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