That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
