honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
