i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
