Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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