just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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