So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
bring money and cleavage
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Randomize
