fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
