I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
