I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
