i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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