my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize