yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
where does the pee come out of this thing
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
