Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
