Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
