So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
