Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
