I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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