Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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