Umm I'm too high to move.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Im part way to drunk.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
