names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
