I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize