So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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