she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
