Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
