he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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