you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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