you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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