I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
