They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
