there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
