and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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