okay pat passed out under dana's car
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
