I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
