too bad you live with your parents still
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
