so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize