I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
