He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize