Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
